i miss st hilda's netball. i miss having at least twenty players on the team. i miss the fighting spirit that each and every one of us had, wanted that place in the main twelve. i miss that drive in our souls. i miss my teammates. i miss the trainings. i miss the fun we had. i miss our standard. i miss the love of the game. i miss, well, i miss st hilda's netball alot.

it's like, there were only twelve places in the main team that would be representing the school. and there were more than twenty players. you could feel that fighting spirit that each of us had, vying for those precious places. we all really aimed to improve ourselves. to brush up whatever skills we had. and to, well, be the best. my team was fun too. we were all more than just mere teammates. we were each other's closest friends. and that improved the team tremendously as a whole. it's amazing when i think about st hilda's netball, a team that once strived their hearts out and achieved third place in national. wow. that was a long time ago, but not long enough to kill that fire inside of me.

i finally went back to club training today, after evelyn told me that mr bok misses me. hahaha. nah. just kidding. but yeah. i finally went back. and it was a greeeaaat feeling. i kind of regret not going back earlier, but i have my reasons... and i'm glad to be back, playing in the club again. evelyn helped me tell mr bok i won't be playing much 'cos of my knee and he was very understanding. it kind of encourages me in a way. anyway, as i was saying, club training, as compared to school training is completely different. i miss playing with good players. and in school, we never get the chance to do so. no offense to anyone, but it's true. it kind of totally sucks in school. whereas extremes (in case you don't know, is the club i'm playing for) is a totally different kind of training. everyone seeks to improve themselves. and that in itself is a motivation for me. i've got to improve my skills, and the only way to do that, is in club. if i just played for school, whooooo... there goes the standard. thank god for extremes. it's my only source of motivation and it definitely keeps the love of the game alive in my soul. if not i seriously would've quit netball a loooong time ago. tsk.

why can't mj netball be half as good as extremes? and not let every other school trample over our lifeless souls next year during a div? i don't want to play a div... it's going to be so humiliating. and so boring too. we're just going to get trashed by everyone. it's not that i don't have faith in the team. it's just that, we really can't make it. maybe you should just sit and watch us one day. you'll understand. it's pathetic. and i mean it. sigh. it's so demoralising just thinking about it. i miss st hilda's netball alot alot alot.

on a lighter note, school training that day was fun 'cos i finally got to see carol! i miss her lah. and she tripped on the mrt escalator. POOM! it was quite funny. everyone turned. haha. carol's a bum bum. haha. anyway, yeah. i played GA that day. and it was pretty cool. figured that if a new j1 comes in next year who shoots, that she and i can rotate roles (GS/GA). it'd be tons of fun. i hope. haha. looking forward to a whoooole new team next year. carol better drag in all her sac juniors lah. we NEED players. desperately. sigh. oh. and we played a friendly with the basketball guys/girls. there were only four girls, if i remember correctly, so yeah. haha. it was FUN. finally some life in our trainings. man. something we've definitely been deprived of since the beginning of time. the guys are nice people. really had a whoooole lot of fun that day. kind of brightened my mood for the events that followed. oh. and i must add the guys are really fast and good pleaseee. after all, they are guys yeah? haha. and they're funny too. nice people, really. ben said he'll try to arrange another game 'cos the guys seemed to have fun. well, he had better arrange another game to spice up some netball life of ours. haha. life's not so bad after all eh?

i realised something. something you love alot with all your heart and soul can make you smile or cry. it's amazing huh? it's like, i love netball with everything i've got. it's my pride and joy, literally. and looking at the current state of my school team really makes me want to cry. whereas extremes, and the memories of st hilda's netball, well, they definitely put a smile on my face. at least, it keeps me sane and it keeps the fire and drive to succeed, the love of the game, alive. and that's more than i can ask for. thank god for netball. thank god for the ups and downs. thank god, for the smiles.

guess that's my whole day's thoughts. all about netball. sigh. yeah. i'm done. it's late. i'm meeting johan and the guys tomorrow! hopefully for tennis!!! really hope my knee doesn't give way like it did last night on my way home. god, please. anyway, looking forward to meeting the guys!!! i miss them like mad pleaseee. can't wait for tomorrow! (: